Ravings of an Undead Cheese Minion

I kinda jacked this one up. I was really off-track for the First Day of June thing. And the weather was repeatedly bad well into June, which really threw me off from feeling like summer has started. And I didn’t have a summer bucket list this year either. Plus I ran into some roadblocks with my internship project which are scaring the hell out of me because I NEED to get hired back on here. It’s time to resurrect what I’ve lost. I had an amazing week in Hawaii which I will probably write about on A&A. It feels like summer has actually begun. I will balance intensive fun activities with lots of hard work and amazing progress in each of my focus areas. This period of my life is extremely crucial to my future, and my revamp starts today. No more sliding back or getting held back. No longer. This is happening. 

My OCD has attacked many aspects of my life, but one of the worst is  dehydration anxiety . It has the bonus of making you pee all the time, and people asking you if you're diabetic (I'm not). It has frustrated my family, everyone I have traveled with, and almost every single one of my mission companions.  It's effectively orthorexia, but with water.  Put me in an office, or on BYU campus with its many drinking fountains and restrooms, and I'll have no issues at all. You won't even notice that I have OCD. Put me in nature, or in a crowded city beset by COVID paranoia such that all its drinking fountains are closed, or on a long road trip, and bad things will start to happen.  Today I definitely had issues with it. But, you keep going.  Other link

Reflections in water have always fascinated me. I loved learning about the Fresnel effect in my computer graphics courses as well.  My goal is to be able to render reflections incredibly well, in both 2D and 3D mediums. Similarly, when coding my fluid solver (which I am a bit behind on), I hope that I can include realistic reflections as a part of it.  This piece is by Ricardo Sanz. I found it on the Facebook page “Louise’s Favorite Pictures”. Link.  I’m not sure what style this is called, but in addition to the sci-fi/fantasy/horror art that I want to make, I also want to make stuff that looks like this. 

This time, there WILL be blood.  What on earth is going on?! It’s been freezing in Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming. And possibly Montana? Idk. But the rest of the country is enjoying a nice heat wave and it just SUCKS here. Yes we’ve had hot days, but the cold keeps returning like it’s still April. Really running out of steam here. I can’t enjoy my summer if the cold keeps coming back. Because it starts getting cold again in September and I’d really like to actually enjoy the warm season.  And it’s been infuriatingly shortened this year. Am I going to have to bundle up in July?!  At least we are going to Hawaii this week. It had better be nice. :V last time we had Hurricane Lane to deal with. 

FINALLY There is so much I want to do right now, and I am so behind. But, I am exhausted. I should go to sleep. I am trying to follow the philosophy of “Rest is a biological imperative and does not need to be earned.” So I will.  “We will get there eventually. But for now, rest.” 

I think a huge part of the reason why my ghosted lines were so...crappy was because when drawing from my shoulder, I focused so much  on what my shoulder  was doing that I did not think about my wrist or my grip.  It seems like, when I grip the pen tightly while drawing from the shoulder, my lines tend to be much straighter. So I still draw from the shoulder, but I do not grip the pen as loosely as I used to. 

I understand censoring swear words on FM radio, even if they don't particularly bother me in my music, but 100.3 goes WAY too far.  I thought censoring "shake it, shake it" by Meghan Trainor was bad. But last week they also censored the word "rough".  Yes, that's right. The word "rough".  Because Lady Gaga says "if it isn't rough, it isn't fun." And we can't have that, now can we.  This is like extremist 14-year-old me, who was uber-paranoid about everything, getting the reins to operate public radio. We are adults , ffs. We don't have to be afraid of the word "rough". 

I encountered this issue today. The problem was trying to name a variable lambda  when that is already a keyword in Python (which I forgot about, as I haven't used that functionality much as of right now).  Change it to really anything else (i.e. my_lambda ), and the error will go away. 

It's June in Utah. It should not be in the 50s and raining at 10 AM. It should be in the 70s-90s and sunny. Why are we still getting April weather in June? Is summer ever going to actually stay, or are we going to see frost in July?  I can't even find any articles about this on any weather sites... I'm moving in a year and no one is going to stop me. This bipolar weather is hell. edit: ok,  I found an article.  why do people hate heat so much? Cold is a million times worse.

Lmao

Warning: absolutely not-researched speculation ahead. May be psuedosciencey.  I always feel a LOT better when I do the breathing exercises on my Apple Watch.  Like, a million times better. It's amazing  how much better I feel.  And the deeper I breathe, the better I feel. If I don't expand my lungs enough, then I only feel slightly better. But if I inhale as much as possible? I feel calmer and happier, from just a minute of breathing. My anxiety lessens, and the sadness is muted, at least for a little bit. It almost feels like my brain has been starved of oxygen, just from breathing normally, once I do these exercises.  Now it's important to note that the states with the highest depression rates are often the states with the highest altitudes. For example, Colorado and yes, Utah.  No link has been proven  to exist with this altitude and mental illness, but there at least appears to be some sort of connection.  Now add my severe allergies and mild asthma to this list. The as

Title. The first time I tried to get ripped was after coming home from my mission. But I overloaded on coursework and completely tanked. I also developed an unhealthy stress eating habit.  When you have projects to do, eating becomes a chore, and you just want something that’s fast and tastes good. If I want to be a great programmer, writer, and artist, as well as at least an ok musician…it’s hard to balance all that with school and work. So, you cut things.  I don’t like cutting workouts or sleep. But I do like cutting cooking because I hate it! It’s not fun to me and it takes forever. It is horrendously boring and makes time move like molasses. And it’s time where I could be playing music, or making art… So I end up getting takeout a lot. But this isn’t conducive to building a good body. My vision to lift alongside running has been reignited, and I will be spending a couple of weeks getting serious about it. And I have no idea how to incorporate cooking.  Lifting is fun. Running is f

This is BS. Did you know they used to open it at 10 am? This was awesome because NO CROWDS. I timed it. I could do the whole park — every single slide — by 1 pm, and have plenty of time to go home and get stuff done. Then they started opening it at 11 am which isn’t quite as bad, but still isn’t great compared to 10 am. And now NOON?! Seriously? Beating the crowds will be impossible now because noon is when most people actually show up. It’s simple; parks only care about money these days. Not guest experience. Even Disney is like this now. Looks like Cowabunga Bay and Splash Summit are going to get way more business from me this year, because Lagoon keeps going downhill. Every day I wonder why I’m still in Utah. My fun stuff is getting screwed with. 

And I look the other way As they are kissing their hellos And I'm pretending not to see them and instead I pour the milk. - Tom's Diner

Just doing reality checks during hypnagogia isn't quite enough.  I think there needs to be a degree of mental alertness, too -- but not so much that you can't fall asleep. And determination.  More data to be collected tonight...

I've noticed that the online Helluva Boss community tends to be very impatient about the release of new episodes.  I've never understood why. I find the pace of the Pokemon and Star Wars fandoms to be so frenetic that it's virtually impossible to keep up with the media. There's just so much of it . And I kinda have other commitments outside of sitting there gaming/watching TV. Free time is limited. I have a huge backlog with both fandoms. I actually pretend that I'm not into Star Wars a lot of the time just because the mega nerds expect you to know everything . Believe me, I'd love  to, but I have other fandoms and pursuits, and it is extremely hard to keep up when new stuff just repeatedly keeps coming out. It won't stop me from trying, but it's hard.  Compared to this, Helluva Boss is refreshing in its slow production pace.  I actually prefer it when fandoms move slower, because then I can stay caught up. It takes roughly 20 minutes to watch a HB episo