Evil fortune cookie ideas:
You will die alone in a basement apartment with 27 cats. Others will always recognize your many flaws. There are no silver linings on those dark clouds above you. Your final memory will be choking to death on a chocolate chip pancake smothered in syrup and whipped cream while at an IHOP in the middle of Indiana. The spider you couldn’t get last night in your bathroom is currently laying eggs. When you lie awake tonight, always remember that no one is ever going to love you. Your mom. Your friends have an extra group chat without you in it. You will sneeze during a job interview and a visible amount of saliva will land on the interviewer's desk. Your friend will get an empty slot on their Super Duolingo plan and will give it to another friend instead of you. You can’t just wait on the pizzle and on the dizzle. You must also wait upon the shizzle. Do not commit tax fraud. That is a felony. Just because it’s moral doesn’t mean it’s legal. It is not advisable to commit se...