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State of me + cornbellys updates

Quick and fast. First off, it's been a weird few weeks for me. I still haven't left California after coming here after my layoff. I'll need to next week. But weirdly, despite the occasional conflict over "why are you not married yet, you need to get an in person job and go to FHE", it's peaceful here.  Still unhappy though. Nothing is going the way I'd hoped in my life. I should bounce back, I should say "you will not break me" and go hard, but I cannot seem to. Only for personal projects now. My trust in jobs and companies is gone forever and my interest in reality / the "real world" as a concept continues to decrease rapidly. The temptation to just mentally check out is strong. I have the ability to be extremely functional methodically while my mind is living completely detached from reality (deep within a fantasy) and I might enter that mode again soon.  Also the marine layer is both cool and depressing.  And I'm procrastinating ...
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And they'll get what's coming to them.

This does not surprise me .  Software engineering is so bad compared to the actual rigor and discipline of traditional engineering. The beautiful and fascinating world of code has been infiltrated by business bros and finance bros. This has caused managers to breathe down your neck trying to make you code faster, causing you to ship slop code that's poorly tested and not up to standard. AI is super useful for actual software engineering, but then you realize that 5000 LinkedIn bros are "vibe coding" their own shitty Unity slop without even looking at the code, then smirking at SWEs because they think we're toast and they won't have to pay us anymore. And then they sling the slop over the wall to prod.  Then management, being filled with dumb business bros who have never felt true passion, decides to make some "tough company decisions" and cut half the team.  The industry is going to have what's coming to it. I'm NOT saying to do something stupid ...
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Just a brief reminder on abs

For me, trying to see the bottom two has sucked. However, I've seen the top four for a LONG time. And you know what else? Most days I didn't eat vegetables. And by most days, I mean I maybe had veggies like once a week at most  and that was while attempting to pick them out of the food lol I ate out multiple times a week  I ate apple cider donuts and rice a Roni and Mac and cheese and pizza  I just tracked my macros, micros, and calories. Weighed myself, weighed my food, and tracked workouts (running, lifting, walking, and prehab) using my smart watch. Apple watch even. Not Garmin. That's it. I was like...mildly hungry on weekdays for a year and when I was, I slammed Gatorade Zero.  Also, I've been kinda lazy with my eating this week since I'm with my family. And I'm still seeing my abs.  It's just math, man. It's all math. There's nothing beyond that.  I do NOT "eat clean". I have sensory issues which make it extremely difficult, so I simp...
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New job posting just dropped!

Senior Software Development Engineer Your Mom Dot Com Industries Fully Remote Also, 100% In Person in Austin, Colorado Your Mom Dot Com Industries is the best place ever! You get free happy-ending massages, catered meals, Golden Corral every Saturday, and therapy pitbulls. Wow! At YMDC, we truly believe in our slogan, Your Mom is Always Right. We are seeking a Senior Software Engineer to work on our Shart.io platform for your mom's crapped capris. We seek a Sharter whose identity has been wrapped up in shart.io ever since they were in Huggies. Duties: - Work in an exciting, fast paced, high pressure environment with someone's out of shape father breathing heavily down your neck - HIGH PRESSURE - did I mention HIGH PRESSURE and FAST PACED - Participate in our on-call rotation, taking calls at 3 am and on the beach on your trip to Bali. - mentor junior engineers (that we will lay off later)  - work 40-50 hours a day!  - Fix some Angular forms or something I don't give a fuck...
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Hoppers was so good but

I don't know whether I'm determined to succeed or even more deflated than before. Somehow, it's both. I'm going to master 3d art and 3d programming and yet also I'm thinking about Kittie and Avatar.  I thought I found what I always wanted - bear with me.  The blood is on your hands.  Like I hate seeing the credits and going "I understand each of these departments. I want to be on this. I NEED to be on this." I would've just stayed there forever. I don't need the ladder. I don't WANT the ladder. I don't care. I just want to master art and code. 
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enough is enough, honestly

I hate this Screaming, "Fuck patience" - Tyler the Creator I'm tired of doomscrolling 550 jobs and seeing things like  If you excel in browser technologies and platform architecture, this is your next challenge! No. Like, what? That's such a weird thing to say. Who excels in that?  I will become the unicorn I always wanted to be.  I will not spend hours doomscrolling job boards. I will hit my daily quotas but I will not waste time. Onto actually building my skills. 
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Really wanna cruise again

Haven't cruised since 2017-18 (over New Year's) and my parents paid for it then since we all went together. That's, well, probably not going to happen again now that I'm well past undergrad. :p But when I'm not freaking unemployed... Think about a nice Royal ship: Water slides! Pools!  Hot tubs! (I think) Bookstores! Hot weather! A park you can walk around in! And read books in.  Lifting at the gym! Going to cool islands! Especially CoCo Cay! Running with a view of the sea + trying not to fall on your face! Dying of norovirus on the toilet in excruciating agony with flooding in both the attic AND the basement -  Oh wait.  But yeah, at least while funemployed you can look up cruises you are 100% not taking, all while dying on the toilet. 
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