Ravings of an Undead Cheese Minion

I quit band after sophomore year of high school and am still mad at myself for doing it. I restarted doing university band in college (non-audition), but I sucked. Like I just wasn't good.  The problem is that after missing those formative years, people are just like  It's okay!!!! you can still play! ^____^ just do like a cute lil community band! and play on holidays! uwu uwu playing at the pro level? ohhhh you had to go to a conservatory for that! it's far too late for THAT now! ^_____^ but why would you want to? it's better to just have funnnnnnnn!~~~ Now, I did like my community bands and the people I met, but I also started to get super demotivated. It sucked to drive 45 minutes in commuter traffic to get to band. When I got a closer one, the schedule kept shifting on me which eventually just stopped working so I wasn't able to go anymore, and I lost motivation even when my schedule shifted back. And since it wasn't a competitive environment, I was not mot...

My brother seems to think I'm hardcore outdoors for some reason.  This is how my life actually goes. Main pursuits:  1. TECH: Code and IT, electronics  2. ART and animation  3. Reading and writing speculative fiction 4. MUSIC 5. Games and game dev 6. Running, lifting, and yoga  7. Theme parks and their engineering  Secondary: I like learning about astronomy, dinosaurs, and languages.  Hiking is just cross training that I do sometimes. I don't know what is going on with this. 

I never liked lettuce. I forced myself to eat a bunch of salads in like 2021 in an attempt to lose weight. It was disgusting and it didn't work either. Only CICO made me lose weight which I started in 2022 because MATH is POWER . The only decent salads were those mexican salads with a bunch of corn and tortilla chips, but even those I couldn't finish before getting grossed out and stopping. Then just eating...the tortilla chips and corn.  I did not like burgers as a kid because a) the loma vista elementary burgers were actually pretty nasty, and b) burgers have lettuce. I did not realize that you could ask for no lettuce on the burger. This was like a revelation to me when someone told me and I love burgers now.  no lettuce tho  and do I get lettuce on my Taco Smell? lmao, no. I had lettuce on a sandwich a few months ago because it was a free work sandwich and eventually I just couldn't do it anymore and ended up taking it off.  and it's not like I eat any of the oth...

wakeup: 2 am  leave hotel in lone pine (best western frontier motel): 3 am arrive at portal: 3:35 am?  poop, get stuff packed, take photos... actually start hiking: 3:56 am summit: 12 pm (yeah) finish: 7:30 pm  thoughts:  probably not doing that again. apparently from 2012 I forgot how hard it was.  the starlight at the start is absolutely beautiful. holy crap. like stepping into the little dream world of mine where you can see into the heavens and every night there is a meteor shower. it was like that made real. you could see nebulae and so many stars.  by mile 10 or so, you start to think "I am never going to get off this mountain" because your brain is cooked but you have to get to the summit then all the way back down  my watch said 22.2 miles, not 22, and that extra 0.2 sucked i almost got eaten by a horsefly at the summit, but was saved by a brown bird  i was farting a lot. so much freaking farting. eventually i had to stop because it was go...

Maybe I should be a med school cadaver after I die, unless Bryan Johnson discovers eternal mortality or something.  Imagine haunting a bunch of stressed out pre-meds. I've always respected people who work hard in school, so why not make their lives more exciting?  PATRICIA! YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED STUDYING FOR O-CHEM OOOOOOOOOOOO 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 ok if I make it to like 90 I'll get on a list, otherwise, sorry pre-meds

The first time I did Whitney, I didn't really get nervous about it.  I was just kind of...on Warrior Cats Forums and listening to T-Swift until we got out of the car. I mean, I don't think the internet was that good, but I was at least trying.  Then we hiked, I ate a crapload of food, got back down to the car, went back online. On the RP: "sorry I was gone all day, was on a hike to the top of a mountain!" then back in business.  Then we got some pizza I think?  IDK. It wasn't a big deal. I've always been an anxious person, but I did not worry about Whitney.  But in Utah, there's a ton of outdoors-as-identity types that have basically caused me to overthink it so badly. You've got to be THE HIKER, THE OUTDOORSMAN, and I'm just...not.  Sure, I can be described as outdoorsy. Outdoorsy nerd is an archetype and it's probably one of mine. But I think of myself as: Writer, artist, developer, IT guy, gamer, musician, engineer, coaster enthusiast, multi...