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Evil fortune cookie ideas:

You will die alone in a basement apartment with 27 cats. Others will always recognize your many flaws. There are no silver linings on those dark clouds above you. Your final memory will be choking to death on a chocolate chip pancake smothered in syrup and whipped cream while at an IHOP in the middle of Indiana. The spider you couldn’t get last night in your bathroom is currently laying eggs. When you lie awake tonight, always remember that no one is ever going to love you. Your mom. Your friends have an extra group chat without you in it. You will sneeze during a job interview and a visible amount of saliva will land on the interviewer's desk. Your friend will get an empty slot on their Super Duolingo plan and will give it to another friend instead of you. You can’t just wait on the pizzle and on the dizzle. You must also wait upon the shizzle. Do not commit tax fraud. That is a felony. Just because it’s moral doesn’t mean it’s legal. It is not advisable to commit se...
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Utah logic:

Take Vyvanse: ok uwu Take caffeine (not even coffee or preworkout) because you're an endurance athlete who doesn't want to mess with your heart rate like Vyvanse would or have that intense of withdrawals: OMG ADDICT ALERT AAAAAAA My GPA shot up to 3.98 when I started managing my ADHD-PI with caffeine. I felt like for the first time since early elementary school, my output actually matched my intellectual ability. My dreams are finally happening because the disorder isn't controlling me anymore  except for with the messy apartment thing, which I AM working on. 
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you know you've had too much caffeine when

you are blasting Pierce the Veil and Three Days Grace and Children of Bodom while drawing and you are FREAKING FIRED UP HOLY HELL  I'd better sleep a lot tonight because tomorrow is going to suck. But this was intentional -- with water park crowds amping up, I knew I wasn't going to get writing and coding done until after dinner, so I had to fight against the exhaustion preemptively.  Pierce the Veil: So Far So Fake Pierce the Veil: King for a Day Pierce the Veil: A Match Into Water Three Days Grace: Animal I Have Become Children of Bodom: Bodom Beach Terror Straight Line Stitch: Dark Matter Children of Bodom: Don't Stop at the Top  Eleine: Death Incarnate  Somebody wake me from this nightmare I can't escape this hell
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not happy with smith's boost so far

turns out this store sucks and hardly stocks anything. why do people always rave about it?  - no hillshire farms spicy calabrese salami snack plates. I eat like 4 of those per week.  - no crystal light energy variety pack. I go through 16 packets each week.  - no dole LIGHT pineapple juice, which I drink daily because it saves me 60 calories compared to the normal one.  but at least they have silk vanilla soymilk...? going to the grocery store is a waste of time, yes. but... why did I buy this garbage?  might switch to walmart or target...
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the problem with missing out on high school/college years of playing your instrument...

I quit band after sophomore year of high school and am still mad at myself for doing it. I restarted doing university band in college (non-audition), but I sucked. Like I just wasn't good.  The problem is that after missing those formative years, people are just like  It's okay!!!! you can still play! ^____^ just do like a cute lil community band! and play on holidays! uwu uwu playing at the pro level? ohhhh you had to go to a conservatory for that! it's far too late for THAT now! ^_____^ but why would you want to? it's better to just have funnnnnnnn!~~~ Now, I did like my community bands and the people I met, but I also started to get super demotivated. It sucked to drive 45 minutes in commuter traffic to get to band. When I got a closer one, the schedule kept shifting on me which eventually just stopped working so I wasn't able to go anymore, and I lost motivation even when my schedule shifted back. And since it wasn't a competitive environment, I was not mot...
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Bro I am not your mountain man

My brother seems to think I'm hardcore outdoors for some reason.  This is how my life actually goes. Main pursuits:  1. TECH: Code and IT, electronics  2. ART and animation  3. Reading and writing speculative fiction 4. MUSIC 5. Games and game dev 6. Running, lifting, and yoga  7. Theme parks and their engineering  Secondary: I like learning about astronomy, dinosaurs, and languages.  Hiking is just cross training that I do sometimes. I don't know what is going on with this. 
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neurodivergents marked safe from diarrheacolapyse 2026?

I never liked lettuce. I forced myself to eat a bunch of salads in like 2021 in an attempt to lose weight. It was disgusting and it didn't work either. Only CICO made me lose weight which I started in 2022 because MATH is POWER . The only decent salads were those mexican salads with a bunch of corn and tortilla chips, but even those I couldn't finish before getting grossed out and stopping. Then just eating...the tortilla chips and corn.  I did not like burgers as a kid because a) the loma vista elementary burgers were actually pretty nasty, and b) burgers have lettuce. I did not realize that you could ask for no lettuce on the burger. This was like a revelation to me when someone told me and I love burgers now.  no lettuce tho  and do I get lettuce on my Taco Smell? lmao, no. I had lettuce on a sandwich a few months ago because it was a free work sandwich and eventually I just couldn't do it anymore and ended up taking it off.  and it's not like I eat any of the oth...
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