Unleashing my inner Disney Princess ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ at the 2024 Disney Princesses Half Marathon
Just look at that happy little alligator musician. He's so CHONKY. It's adorable. I love him. How could you NOT run a half marathon for him when he's cheering you on?
(My dad says it's weird to say the word "adorable" as a man, which makes zero logical sense and obviously means I need to use that word as often as possible. I will also continue to wear my rings and maybe I'll start flashing my pink protein shaker. Just to cause a little discomfort, because it's funny.)
I haven't seen the movie yet actually so idk if the gator is a major character or not. But JUST LOOK AT HIM.
My cousin and I had been planning a Disney trip, specifically centered around RunDisney, for ages. We are both huge Disney fans and serious runners. I often joke about Disney being an evil organization because of how they keep jacking up their prices, but I actually love it in spite of everything. Always have, always will. It's not the suits and stingy businesspeople that make the magic; it's the artists, engineers, and creators. C-Suite executives ruin everything. We all know this.
And yes, I get really cheesy and think about how the magic is REAL, man. Magic is real, wishes are real! I love all amusement and theme parks, but Disney parks are pretty much the only thing that can pull me out of my cynicism and negativity. It's weird, I have always struggled to be positive and happy, but for some reason it's like Disneyland and Disney World tap into my brain and push some sort of happiness button that I myself can't reach.
Even so, it was very difficult to get myself to go. I was laid off from my dream job at DreamWorks, where I wanted to stay for the rest of my life, and was depressed and struggling to find a job. As you might recall, this ruined everything and completely threw off my planned move away from Utah as I had to find a local job (I applied to at least 100 remote positions and didn't get any of them). I thus felt sketched out about spending a bunch of money at Disney. Additionally, both my parents were extremely against me going. My dad said my new job wouldn't think I was dedicated enough. My mom was extremely angry about me choosing to run a race on Sunday, even though it was the Pharisees who stressed about rigid adherence to rules in the New Testament...
When I got hired with a semi-local company, I realized that it would be possible to pull off Disney. I told them about it when determining my start date, it got approved, and I decided I was going, regardless of what my parents said. After all, I am a 30 year old man lol. After choosing that, I felt really dang good about it, though I knew I would have to get an air mattress because there is no way in hell I'm sharing a bed with a relative! Ewwwwwwwwwwww! I grabbed an ultralight air mattress off of Amazon for about $30 and was surprised to test it out and find it decently comfortable.
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My half marathon PR is currently 1:32:54, in the 2023 St. George Half Marathon. It's an almost entirely downhill course and super fast if you know how to run downhills properly (feet falling beneath you, leaning forward, a slightly scary feeling like you're going to fall). So I signed up for Disney Princesses and got Corral A, because RunDisney does not exactly...attract the fastest contingent of athletes. And that's totally fine! But my time would generally not get me the first corral in most other races. And I got a number of 49 (or was it 46?) which apparently means I am fast. For Disney, anyway. IDK.
When I first went to WDW in 2006, at age 13, I remember thinking that it was the most romantic place in the world, and I resolved that the next time I returned would be my honeymoon. Of course, 30 year old me now thinks that such a resolution is beyond ridiculous, though I still consider WDW romantic and would love to have my honeymoon there. Maybe with a few added days in the Keys or even the Bahamas (Atlantis my beloved).
DAY 1 (Thursday)
I flew into Orlando from Utah. Of course, I had to get Panda Express at SLC. Naturally, I got patted down at TSA, which is always amusing when it happens (look I know I'm beautiful, but I've got a flight to catch). On the plane, I watched some Bluey and played some Pokemon, but otherwise was focused on being as productive as possible. Schoolwork, coding, art, writing. Delta's free Wifi for SkyMiles members is an awesome perk. When I landed in Orlando, I knew I needed to get to All-Star Movies pretty quickly so we could all get some sleep. However, I just had to spend 5 or so minutes browsing the theme park stores in the airport! I didn't get anything from Universal as I already have Velocicoaster and Slytherin merch, and I didn't get anything from Disney since I knew I'd have the whole trip, but I did get a waterproof sports bag from SeaWorld!
I had a weirdly sketchy Lyft ride from the airport -- I always get guys who barely speak English and want me to speak my broken Spanish with them. Which is fine, but my Spanish is just really rusty right now. I always get Lyft for those sweet, sweet Hilton Honors points, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea because this keeps happening. This guy didn't want me to tip him from the Lyft app and to use Venmo instead. It was hard to communicate. I found out later that it could've been a stolen phone and account, or maybe a stolen card. Um, yeah. Nonetheless, I was pretty dang excited to see the WDW entry sign!
I arrived at All-Star Movies. When reading the signs to try and find the hotel room, it finally hit me: I was in Disney World! I found the building and the room, in the Mighty Ducks section. I greeted my aunt, uncle, and cousin, and realized that I was definitely not going to be getting the 7 hours of sleep I was hoping for! But hey, it's Disney, that's the one and only thing I will cut sleep for. Look, if it's not Disney and you have a problem after 10:00 PM then that's between you and the Lord because I'm not going to get out of bed.
I ate some leftover pizza that they saved for me, then inflated my air mattress into the tiny space between the bed and the door. Thankfully I had brought the ultralight one, because the normal size was NOT going to fit.
DAY 2 (Friday)
ANIMAL KINGDOM, early entry! We got breakfast at the hotel food court before leaving (breakfast sandwich and some tots for me), and I remember looking at all the swamps from the window of the shuttle as the sun rose. We started by riding the Na'vi River Adventure, and then we had Lightning Lane for Flight of Passage. Flight of Passage was amazing, and I remember I really wanted a stuffed banshee, because they were so cute, and I wanted to remember what it felt like to ride one. I sure hoped that I would find one in the store! I thought it would be especially cool to have one that could ride on my shoulder.
We also rode on Expedition Everest (twice!) and Kilimanjaro Safaris, complete with a baby elephant and a pair of ostriches that lunged at our vehicle. It was really cool to drive straight through these giant water puddles as well. And what did I find in the store? A tiny stuffed banshee that was designed to ride on your shoulder. Of course I bought him and he's sitting on my art table right now. It's like the mouse read my mind.
Also, RIP Primeval Whirl. I know nobody really liked you, but I did. In a perfect world, I would've also done DINOSAUR. But despite my lifelong love for dinos, I remember being somewhat underwhelmed at least in 2006, so it was all good.
After that, it was time for Magic Kingdom. We started with lunch; I got a jumbo hot dog somewhere in Main Street USA (I don't count calories at Disney -- that's what the rest of the year doing CICO is for). We rode on Tron Lightcycle Run twice (amazing), Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Thunder Mountain, Space Mountain, and I did the Seven Dwarves Mine train by myself because I needed the credit and no one else wanted to do it. That queue was BRUTAL. I also got a Dole Whip of course! I got one of the specialty flavors that had Pop Rocks in it. I also think this was when Captain Jack Sparrow hit on my aunt right in front of my uncle. Smooth.
I did not get to ride the Barnstormer, but I already have the credit from 2006, so nbd. Ideally, I would have also done a few other classics like Haunted Mansion, Tiki Room, et al but I was still very happy with how the day went.
We had dinner at the food court. I had some amazing chicken fettucine alfredo with garlic bread, and for dessert I had a gigantic ice cream cookie sandwich. Mint and chip ice cream with chocolate chip cookies. I'm sure at least 4000 calories were consumed by me that day.
After that I am pretty sure we just all passed out by 9 PM so we could wake up at 5, though my cousin was prepping for her 10K so she left at 3:30ish and I had to wake up and move my bed.
DAY 3 (Saturday)
After some McDonald's breakfast (I'm still mad at them for removing their tendies and all-day breakfast, but I will forgive them due to the sausage burritos this time) we drove to Epcot to watch my cousin race the 10K. She had a stress fracture so she did the entire thing in a boot. Yep! Hardcore.
Have you ever watched the sunrise over Spaceship Earth (it's the giant golf ball) with the lights still on? It's surreal.
Then we went to Epcot with early entry and rode Guardians of the Galaxy (one of the best roller coasters I have ever ridden, holy HELL), Frozen Ever After (so much fun, especially going backwards), and Test Track. I also wanted to ride Ratatouille but oh well. I think Guardians single-handedly cured everything that is wrong with me for an entire week (and there are many things wrong with me).
We had lunch at Japan (teryaki steak and chicken) and I bought some more souvenirs from one of the shops -- Pokemon cards (yes, at Disney!), Studio Ghibli art prints and postcards, and a Studio Ghibli mini graph paper notebook so I can do math on the go. The cashier confessed that he was not a big Ghibli fan (the horror, the horror).
By this point, I was beginning to notice blisters, and was a bit worried for running Princess the next morning. But hey, whatever. It was time for Hollywood Studios. But first, I had to pick up my race packet at the Wide World of Sports, so my family dropped me off over there and I did it as fast as I could.
At Hollywood Studios, we did Smuggler's Run, Rise of the Resistance (YES it lives up to the hype, and I finally got to ride it after so many years of waiting!), Star Tours (or I guess it's just called Star Wars now), Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway (SO cool, especially the lovely park scene at the end, the cars doing a ballroom dance, and the breaking up of the railway train which is an idea I had as a little kid), and we almost did Tower of Terror but we were starving and about to miss dinner (thankfully we did not miss it). My cousin was able to snag me a Pizza Planet shirt and I paid her back. Sadly, Rock and Roller Coaster was closed.
We tried the blue milk (delicious, dairy free), and the green milk (dairy free and mid).
Dinner was at Mama Melrose's Ristorante Italiano and it was amazing. I had the chicken parmesan with way too much garlic bread. It made me think of the restaurant in Adastra and I thought it would be cool to lounge on couches while you eat. The booths were sufficiently comfy though. It also made me think of Petrini's a bit. The ceiling was covered in vines and glowing lights and I remember thinking about my lifelong daydream of meeting The One on some lovely evening at a restaurant. Melrose's looks almost exactly like that restaurant from my daydream.
And then I did Slinky Dog Dash by myself while everyone else went back to the hotel (thoosies gotta credit whore). It was insanely fun, especially at night. Then I wandered around the park for a bit, and went to get a churro. The girl at the churro stand called me "love" and while I realize that Southern people all say that, she still made my day. I was so taken aback that I forgot to photograph my churro. I was on cloud 9. Unfortunately, nonexistent kids, that is most certainly not how I met your mother.
DAY 4 (Sunday)
It was time for Disney Princesses. I took two ibuprofens, bandaged up the crap out of my blisters, ate a Honey Stinger waffle/Uncrustable/Zone Bar, and brought some Crystal Light Energy. You have to get into RunDisney corrals very early which meant that I had to pee right about the time when the race was gonna start. It's not ideal, but just as our motto of 2020 Disneyland trip said, you Do It For Disney.
It was a flat course (so not downhill), I was very sore from walking around the parks, plus my calf injury, and 5 bandaged blisters, and sleep deprivation on a $30 air mattress, and overeating with junk food...yeah I knew I wasn't gonna PR, but that hadn't been my intention anyway. However, I had to pee so badly the entire time (and didn't want to stop at a restroom) that I ended up going fairly fast anyway. We started in the second wave of corral A at 5:02 AM and I started out at an 8:30 pace because I wanted to see how my calf and blisters held up.
I pretty quickly increased the pace to 7:45-7:50ish, as I was feeling fine, and had to go to the bathroom. I passed by many Disney characters which made me happy, and waved to a few, but did not stand in line (ain't nobody got time for that, plus I hate taking pictures of myself). Also they were playing some nice Disney music throughout it. The race commentators were focusing solely on the ladies, but I was completely OK with that. It was Princess weekend, after all.
Entering the Magic Kingdom was AMAZING. It was all lit up in the darkness of the early morning. I ran through that castle and the race photos show me looking around in amazement. The magic is real, people. Do not check your bank statements. Money is fake. THE MAGIC IS REAL.
There were a few times where, being near the front of the pack, I was alone in the darkness of the Florida swamps. This was really creepy, especially at one point where this dude was doing construction alone by some random swamp and I heard this freaky hammering sound coming out of the woods. Straight out of a horror movie lol. Thankfully, I caught up to a small pack and the Disney music started playing again shortly after. I almost started crying when "When Will My Life Begin" from Tangled started playing. Idk if it's because I'm emo and the song is beautiful or because my entire body was in excruciating agony but it was probably both.
I started to really feel it towards the end. My stomach was a bit off (but it was worth it for you, Mama Melrose) and I was hurting from all that walking over the past few days. But I knew I had to push it. I hung with some random guy until the last 0.1 and then I sprinted in front of him. Sorry for using you for drafting, random guy. My finish photos look horrendous due to my expression of extreme agony coupled with my tongue hanging out like Lightning McQueen. My calves shot with pain for a brief second, then it went away. And suddenly, I was done, with a time of 1:42:14. I did an extremely sore and slow cooldown after getting my race medal, free towel (which I somehow lost :( :( :( ), and snack box. Camped out in the porta-loos for a spell. Stretched. Then got a RunDisney guidebook for a souvenir and talked to some nice guy (plus one other dude for a little bit) at one of the finish tables about his life in Orlando and previous Disney races. Gosh I still think Orlando could be the place for me if I don't do California. He was very happy especially with the beer buzz he had! I, obviously, stuck to water and Gatorade. And I got a super greasy pizza cone. We also saw Captain Jack Sparrow again who finished around the same time as me. After that, my uncle finished, and later so did my aunt and cousin -- cane and boot and all. We got some more merch, and I got an extra race shirt to go with my Tiana one (the Tiana shirt, which came with race admission, is the same as the top image, complete with the cute gator friend).
We showered and had lunch at the food court back at All-Star Movies. I got a meatball sub with chips. Then, we hung out by the pool (we tried both the Mighty Ducks pool and the Fantasia pool), swimming a bit but otherwise just drifting in and out of sleep. We only slept maybe 4-5 hours the night before, and we were all wiped. My cousin and I also played some checkers on one of those giant boards.
That night, we had dinner at Disney Springs. I got a decent burger from Paradiso 37. I got a t-shirt from the Rainforest Cafe, one of my favorite places in the world! And I got a t-shirt, bag, and two new rings from the T-Rex Cafe. I also got dessert at a cookie place (which is also where the day 1 pizza originally came from) and we passed by the Lego store and the giant Lego dragon in the water. I would've also gone into the Star Wars store, World of Disney, and Marvel store if I had extra time, but I did everything essential. And then we got some rest, and slept in a bit.
DAY 5 (Monday)
I was so sad to leave that morning. McD's for breakfast again. Family dropped me off at the airport so no more sketchy Lyfts. They had a later flight so they were able to go to Universal CityWalk and see the roller coasters -- next time for sure I'll go there too! But I was NOT going to fly Spirit. My Delta return flight was much less comfortable because I had the window seat. I actually don't like the window seat. It's better than the middle seat, but I still feel trapped and kinda claustrophobic. On the way up I had the aisle. I only like the aisle seat. I was so uncomfortable (legs were cramping up from the race, and my pack was stuffed with Disney goodies so I had zero leg room) that I eventually threw in the towel with studying and just watched Halo instead.
I got Panda Express right before getting picked up, as a way to conclude the journey. But I only got the bowl, not the plate, because it's back to CICO for me. That sixpack will happen before summer so I can lean bulk / maingain in the fall. Who knows how much I'll accomplish before my next Disney trip in 2025? I feel refreshed, remotivated, rejuvenated, willing to tackle my goals again, and utterly at peace with the world.
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All in all, it was a perfect trip -- as my uncle says, perfectly planned and executed. My coaster credit count is now at 118 (assuming I have ridden both Space Mountain tracks, Alpha and Omega, by now -- I actually can't remember but I'm just going to go with it, and I'll be sure to explicitly ride both of them in a future trip to be sure). I'm going for 200 by the end of 2025. I have no idea how many calories I consumed or how much money I spent and I don't care. I unleashed my inner Disney Princess and I am going to do it again. And again. And again. The evil mouse in Orlando never really unhooked his claws from me, but suffice it to say, they're dug in even deeper than they ever were before. Also, I just spent 90 minutes writing this and I was supposed to be finishing my paper, so...got to get to it.
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