Since 2026 is starting...
...why not begin it early?
Staying up until 12 AM hasn't been cool or fun since I was like...10 years old. I stayed up until 12 AM so often in college that it became super ordinary and boring. Nowadays, though, I've embraced my early bird nature. I am actually at my best when I'm up early.
Why not start 2026 early in the morning, ready to fight for your dreams and make them real? Instead of staying up ridiculously late for some reason and throwing off the next day.
I don't understand why these idiots in Utah buy 69420 fireworks and set them off every 2 minutes from 8:30 PM to 12:30 AM, and then again every night from 8:30 PM to 11:00 PM until they run out of fireworks, which is usually about a week.
How is this enjoyable? You're just asking to cause fires. Sorry, but I'm with my hometown of Ventura, CA on this one. Fireworks should be illegal except in sanctioned displays. Yes, people will still do it, but only at 12:00 AM for like 5 minutes. Who cares.
But not a full-blown audial assault for 4 hours, with just enough spacing that you start to fall asleep before the next BOOM.
You could be achieving greatness and excellence, but instead you are just...setting off loud explosives in your backyard, because you derive satisfaction out of this arbitrary action for some reason?
I like seeing fireworks at theme parks. I'm not against them. I love the SeaWorld fireworks, for example, and watching them over the ocean. They're beautiful. I'm even cool with people setting them off for a bit at midnight. However, there's no reason why 45 year old GAS PRICES ARE TOO EXPENSIVE IN COMMIEFORNIA LETS GO BRANDON balding chunky old dudes should be able to buy insane amounts of fireworks and set them off every 5 seconds when their neighbors are attempting to sleep.
Whatever. My 2026 goals are set. And this time, I will finally get the skills and life that I've always wanted.

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