stop poisoning the well

When I started at a CS major in college many years ago, my experience in code was as follows: 

  • Started reading Code by Charles Petzold 
  • Wrote some Excel macros using VBA in Computer Applications in high school (because Drafting got cancelled and I had to switch) 
  • Followed some HTML + CSS tutorials on The Cave of Dragonflies, made some mediocre fanfiction web pages that never got published
  • Made some custom profiles using HTML + CSS + copy/pasted JavaScript for friends on FeralFront, including: auto-playing music, fancy mouse cursors of grumpy cats, animated screen effects that have the unfortunate side effect of killing your laptop battery
  • Read the first page of a Swift iOS book at B&N and went "hmm yes this looks interesting" 
And that was it. 

But through lurking on DreamInCode and other forums, I knew that I wanted to be one of the hardcore, passionate, intense computer programmers. 

Then college kicked my butt. I got good grades, but it didn't happen. I was juggling work and an intense courseload in school. I did not explore the way I wanted to, and I became too similar to the r/CSMajors people. Recently interviews keep kicking my butt too. 

When work stresses me out, it poisons the well of coding, and this CANNOT happen any longer. I must learn to keep them separate; code and work. Even if I am doing the same thing for both! I refuse to let my job ruin my passion, and I will not switch fields. Not until I am ready to be a freelance creative full-time and even then I will never quit coding. I will become one of the greats in computer science, one way or another. 

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