Strange denizens of the Parc on center gym

The Two Ghosts

I either lift at Parc or at Orem Rec depending on the day. But when I go to lift at Parc pre-dawn, there has always been this couple that is running on the treadmills in pitch darkness. 

It's super creepy. Are these NPCs? Ghosts? No matter. Lights ON, WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY. If you wanted to run in total darkness, there's this thing called "outside", and it has cool coyotes and shit. 

Slides and Hoodie Guy

It's July, and currently hotter than Satan's sweaty armpit. But this guy is lifting in a hoodie and sweats, and is wearing slides and socks. If he's the only one in there, the fan will be off. ???? The gym is lucky I wear more than just my Janji half tights this time of year. And why lift in slides? Do you want to die?

I Have Chosen The Dumbbells For My Cell Phone's Perch

This lady always puts her cell phone ON TOP OF A PAIR OF DUMBBELLS, WHILE THEY ARE ON THE RACK, and then goes to lift with a different set of dumbbells. She does not ever use the dumbbells she puts the phone on. 

What? 

This reminds me of people who intentionally wreck their cars for the insurance payout. 

I Have No Workout and I Must Scream

99% sure this dude was a missionary who was too lazy to work out but forced to go to the gym by his comp. Dude would camp out on the lat pulldown machine for almost an hour and just stare at his phone. He'd move when asked, but then would just go to a different machine to doomscroll. 

The Verdict

People are weird, but apartment gym lifters are weirder. At Orem Rec, I recognize lots of people, but they are all just, you know. Normal. Lol.