Ravings of an Undead Cheese Minion

If they like your resume and give you a takehome, sure.  But never do one at the getgo. Not until you're vetted. I broke my rule for QA Wolf and they insta-rejected me anyway. Fuck them. They didn't even watch the stupid Loom recording I spent half a day perfecting.  I'm never doing that again. 

I am probably too chronically online, but I see the weirdest trends in online fitness spaces. Here are a few.  "All that muscle and you still don't know how to FIGHT".  My response: If I was training to be Bruce Lee, I'd sign up for martial arts? I lift because it looks good. I don't understand the argument.  "Hyrox is for bros who don't do manual labor. Shut up and mow your lawn. :) "  My response: I don't like yard work. In fact, I hate it. I'm glad other people like it, and I will pay them to do it for me. What does this even mean? Manual labor is a chore, not a sport. Hyrox is a sport. Once again, I simply do not understand what your argument is.  "Men these days are too WEAK and FEMININE. You need to learn how to eat STEAKS and lift WEIGHTS in a SAUNA. SOFT TIMES CREATE SOFT MEN, STAY HARD"  My response: Okay, so you're either implying that feminine is a bad thing, which is super sketchy and misogynistic , or you're imp...

And I think I figured out why yesterday bugged me so much and I wrote that crashout.  One of my most regular writing group members announced he was quitting because he didn't like our submission format. Not hiatus. Quitting. And it's like. We've met weekly since 2020. Six years. Does that not mean anything to you? And now the group is so small they're not sure if they want to keep going. I don't have much of a social life which is normally fine but I've met with these people for SIX. YEARS. How do you just throw it away like it's nothing?  If you love something, you never quit at it. Ever. And so... First off, fuck quitters. Pardon the French. No sympathy. If I'm not important enough to you then fuck you. Second off, this has to mean nothing other than: I will keep writing. I will do my best to keep both my groups running, but if they crash I'll find another. And if that one crashes then fuck them. I will try even harder to make my chapter cadence in...

I've been laid off from every full-time job I've had.  Including my dream job that I got during an industry boom and foolishly thought I'd stay at forever.  One of my writing groups is on the verge of collapse and I feel it's partly my fault because I wasn't submitting consistently enough. That's what triggered this I guess.  No relationships. No romance.  No novels published. I was THE gifted English kid and I've done nothing No Patreon. No art commissions. My art is still mediocre, both 2D and 3D. Same with my graphics programming. No way animation would hire me for anything beyond pipeline.  Didn't double major with mechanical or electrical engineering and am too far behind on my self-study.  I'm not very good at Leetcode. I'm not very good at system design. I don't have any cool apps on the store. Nobody cares about SWEs anymore. All they care about business and vibe coding.  I got an Adobe internship and I can't get back in. I've...

Yep, still RLOAI:  Result Low Extroversion Very High Neuroticism  High Conscientiousness  High Agreeableness  Very High Openness  withdrawn, loner, not wild and crazy, does not like the spotlight, worrying, crowd averse, afraid to draw attention to self, easily hurt, fearful, prone to low physical fitness, fears mistakes, prone to health problems, hard to get to know, risk averse, unable to speak up for self, becomes overwhelmed by events, not self confident, depressed, embarrassed by praise, prefers organized to unpredictable, apprehensive about new encounters, not good at telling jokes, easily intimidated, quiet around strangers, socially unskilled, easily offended, avoids being a bother to anyone, anxious, plays it safe, not spontaneous, some attraction to things associated with sadness, easily discouraged, apologetic, private, requires lots of time alone to recharge, self loathing, avoidant, second guesses self, low energy level, values solitude, not physica...

Quick and fast. First off, it's been a weird few weeks for me. I still haven't left California after coming here after my layoff. I'll need to next week. But weirdly, despite the occasional conflict over "why are you not married yet, you need to get an in person job and go to FHE", it's peaceful here.  Still unhappy though. Nothing is going the way I'd hoped in my life. I should bounce back, I should say "you will not break me" and go hard, but I cannot seem to. Only for personal projects now. My trust in jobs and companies is gone forever and my interest in reality / the "real world" as a concept continues to decrease rapidly. The temptation to just mentally check out is strong. I have the ability to be extremely functional methodically while my mind is living completely detached from reality (deep within a fantasy) and I might enter that mode again soon.  Also the marine layer is both cool and depressing.  And I'm procrastinating ...

This does not surprise me .  Software engineering is so bad compared to the actual rigor and discipline of traditional engineering. The beautiful and fascinating world of code has been infiltrated by business bros and finance bros. This has caused managers to breathe down your neck trying to make you code faster, causing you to ship slop code that's poorly tested and not up to standard. AI is super useful for actual software engineering, but then you realize that 5000 LinkedIn bros are "vibe coding" their own shitty Unity slop without even looking at the code, then smirking at SWEs because they think we're toast and they won't have to pay us anymore. And then they sling the slop over the wall to prod.  Then management, being filled with dumb business bros who have never felt true passion, decides to make some "tough company decisions" and cut half the team.  The industry is going to have what's coming to it. I'm NOT saying to do something stupid ...

For me, trying to see the bottom two has sucked. However, I've seen the top four for a LONG time. And you know what else? Most days I didn't eat vegetables. And by most days, I mean I maybe had veggies like once a week at most  and that was while attempting to pick them out of the food lol I ate out multiple times a week  I ate apple cider donuts and rice a Roni and Mac and cheese and pizza  I just tracked my macros, micros, and calories. Weighed myself, weighed my food, and tracked workouts (running, lifting, walking, and prehab) using my smart watch. Apple watch even. Not Garmin. That's it. I was like...mildly hungry on weekdays for a year and when I was, I slammed Gatorade Zero.  Also, I've been kinda lazy with my eating this week since I'm with my family. And I'm still seeing my abs.  It's just math, man. It's all math. There's nothing beyond that.  I do NOT "eat clean". I have sensory issues which make it extremely difficult, so I simp...

Senior Software Development Engineer Your Mom Dot Com Industries Fully Remote Also, 100% In Person in Austin, Colorado Your Mom Dot Com Industries is the best place ever! You get free happy-ending massages, catered meals, Golden Corral every Saturday, and therapy pitbulls. Wow! At YMDC, we truly believe in our slogan, Your Mom is Always Right. We are seeking a Senior Software Engineer to work on our Shart.io platform for your mom's crapped capris. We seek a Sharter whose identity has been wrapped up in shart.io ever since they were in Huggies. Duties: - Work in an exciting, fast paced, high pressure environment with someone's out of shape father breathing heavily down your neck - HIGH PRESSURE - did I mention HIGH PRESSURE and FAST PACED - Participate in our on-call rotation, taking calls at 3 am and on the beach on your trip to Bali. - mentor junior engineers (that we will lay off later)  - work 40-50 hours a day!  - Fix some Angular forms or something I don't give a fuck...

I don't know whether I'm determined to succeed or even more deflated than before. Somehow, it's both. I'm going to master 3d art and 3d programming and yet also I'm thinking about Kittie and Avatar.  I thought I found what I always wanted - bear with me.  The blood is on your hands.  Like I hate seeing the credits and going "I understand each of these departments. I want to be on this. I NEED to be on this." I would've just stayed there forever. I don't need the ladder. I don't WANT the ladder. I don't care. I just want to master art and code. 

I hate this Screaming, "Fuck patience" - Tyler the Creator I'm tired of doomscrolling 550 jobs and seeing things like  If you excel in browser technologies and platform architecture, this is your next challenge! No. Like, what? That's such a weird thing to say. Who excels in that?  I will become the unicorn I always wanted to be.  I will not spend hours doomscrolling job boards. I will hit my daily quotas but I will not waste time. Onto actually building my skills. 

Haven't cruised since 2017-18 (over New Year's) and my parents paid for it then since we all went together. That's, well, probably not going to happen again now that I'm well past undergrad. :p But when I'm not freaking unemployed... Think about a nice Royal ship: Water slides! Pools!  Hot tubs! (I think) Bookstores! Hot weather! A park you can walk around in! And read books in.  Lifting at the gym! Going to cool islands! Especially CoCo Cay! Running with a view of the sea + trying not to fall on your face! Dying of norovirus on the toilet in excruciating agony with flooding in both the attic AND the basement -  Oh wait.  But yeah, at least while funemployed you can look up cruises you are 100% not taking, all while dying on the toilet. 

Taste my own tears. I felt the same when you were staring at me, with no regrets.  I'm all alone, hunted and weak. But I'm stronger than you may decide.  - The Lust, Dear Diary

Yesterday I did SFMM with no Fast Lane (because #FUNEMPLOYMENT, I am NOT having fun) and it was wicked. 98F but without my knowledge of how to navigate Lagoon in the heat and only the river rapids ride open for water attractions, which I didn't do.  11 rides from 10:30 (well, more like 10:50) to 6 (more like 6:15). No purchases except lunch because #FUNEMPLOYMENT (I am NOT having fun).  Cherry Hill, Splash Summit, and Cowabunga Bay have all released their summer 2026 hours. Not sure if I'm going to buy a pass to SCERA because #funemployment (I am NOT having fun). Lagoon is still slacking on the Lagoon a Beach hours specifically but we know the regular park hours and they need to hurry up and fix their Cloudflare. 

  I thought I found what I always wanted  I got what I wanted  I got just what I always wanted.  - Kittie In a way I did find what I always wanted at DreamWorks. Or so I thought. I thought I'd be there forever. Laid off, landed somewhere else, laid off again.  No more faith in tech. It's gone. 

But we are IN. If I don't have a job by 2027 we will have a lot more serious problems than just being able to hang out with mickey for a weekend.  Pro-tip: caffeinate your Macbook once you're in the queue and have the dang thing PLUGGED. IN.  And don't predict your real time right away. You can fix that later. Instead, pretend you're gonna run it in 5 hours so you don't need POT as this is a waste of time. Remember, there is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there are no cart holds in RunDisney. (Santa Claus is real though. Jussayin) iPad Pro: Safari iPhone 14: chrome  MacBook Pro: Safari, Chrome, Firefox + 1 private for each  Windows PC: Chrome, Edge, Avast Secure Browser + 1 private for each  I'm pretty sure we got in via the incognito Chrome on my windows PC but I was in the ZONE. I thrive on this stuff. It's my inner competitive streak. PWN THE N00BZ like it's 2010 again.  I had to remote into my PC using Chrome Remote Desktop because I...

why?  It's crap. It's extreme crap. The whole course after the customer support module is AI slop. The quizzes are badly formatted -- short answers that want hardcoded strings -- tons of typos. No, no, no, no.  I pushed for months and eventually realized that investing time into it was counterproductive.  I have already bought a "Learn computer repair" course on Udemy which should be roughly similar to what Dell was supposed  to teach me, in addition to Tech+ and A+, which are also on my learning path.  Apple's support certificate makes way more sense because, you know. it's Apple. And therefore it's actually good. I was already going to do it. 

Matiks has been throwing me division sometimes, I didn't get it this time, but I fumbled the last multiplication problem and this was the result: narrow victory by 1 point 😵

I have to remind myself that THIS is why I do what I do. Take out any pillar, and the whole thing collapses. But stay the course, and no one can stop me. No company can take this away from me.  Fitness too: Boston qualifier  Visible muscle. 

in this post, I announce my inevitable exit from the corporate world.  Not now, because I still need funding. I unfortunately need a new job.  But I'm done after that. After this next job, once I can actually fund myself -- if I lose the job yet again, I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm tired of being a spreadsheet item. I work my ass off every single day  to learn computer science, cybersecurity, mathematics, engineering, and physics. And music, art, and writing. At work, I wrote the entire documentation, automation, deployment scripting, QA testing docs and standards, unit tests, pipeline runners, I reduced deployment time from 5 hours to 2 hours, and I got cut off anyway and all my stuff was instantly deactivated. Why - Because some sociopathic, elderly, uncaring business bro with no drive or passion for learning or loving anything other than money cuts me off and forces me to eat away at my savings. Again.  Three times in a row. All full-time jobs ending in layo...

It looks fancy, with a cute UI. However,  It's riddled with spelling errors.  It's more of an art BA than a BFA that trains you for animation and/or illustration. Compare to the Catalog for BYU Animation and BYU Illustration and see how divergent it is from both.  It's the most grindy thing I've ever seen  There's so much traditional art  that it loses the majority of its audience -- most of us want to do digital concept art, illustration, or animation , with a traditional drawing foundation as backbone, not set up shop in an art gallery as much as I love going to galleries :)  Where's the 3D? Oh...at the very bottom..."lol there's blender guru, do it...somewhere"  When do you get into digital? At the very end of the curriculum, and you're not supposed to use undo or multiple layers (????? That's the dumbest thing I've ever read) I have heard of exactly ZERO people who have ever completed it. Including radiorunner.  😂 WTF.  We're f...

The feeling of letting go, I guess we'll never know. - Owl City maybe one day you'll understand why, everything you touch surely dies - passenger I don't know which one rings more now. I guess it's a bit of both. 

And these are not going to be very reliable because I'm not a meteorologist.  We have Lagoon opening on 3/28/26 (Saturday), though this is, as always, tentative.  There's a crappy screenshot.  I doubt Nutcracker (snicker) will be open on time, but it's possible , because it's just a standard Screaming Swing - albeit with some custom scenery and art.  Lagoon-a-Beach is still showing 2025 hours, unfortunately, so there's no way of knowing yet if they're going to have a 10 AM, 11 AM, or 12 PM opening this year. Last year the return of 10 AM was quite nice, even if I myself never quite made rope drop.  Accuweather is showing pretty standard weather for opening day (again, assuming the target is hit, you never know with seasonal parks) meaning that crowds should be somewhat low. I myself will probably only take a 1/2 or 1/4 day if this is the forecast that holds. 

The room is spinning like a roulette wheel landing on the black I put a wager on my sanity  and I ain't getting it back So raise a glass to the lady who thinks she's won the pot I traded heaven for a hangover, it's the only prayer I've got  smear the lipstick, drown the whiskey thoughts inside my head I'd rather feel the burn of bourbon than wish that I was dead -  one project

A few observations:  attacks happen seemingly constantly . It's almost too much in my opinion -- there is very little breathing room -- but I tend to have the exact opposite problem; too much  breathing room. So, it is good to study this.  When POV characters are attacked, it is seemingly random... ...but it very much is not actually random . Cannon's villains have already all devised their own plans and are executing them. The main cast pieces those plans together as they go.  Whenever my stories were starting to feel slow and clogged, I instantly went "yeah...make something blow up" which is fine  as an instinct, but the attacks were feeling disjointed.  I'm more of a plotter than a pantser, so I am now going back to the drawing board. The antagonist's plans need to be fully defined and executed so that way everything starts to connect.  I will say that the books do tend to weaken slightly in what is effectively this series' "war chapters" (tha...

There are way too many games I want to play.  My parents never explicitly forbade video games, but they did limit our hours severely.  By the time they stopped, I had accidentally developed an irrational guilt complex over playing games, even though my logical brain knew it was stupid. So it was hard to sit down and just do it  even though I knew it would make me more creative.  when I played adastra in 2021 I somehow managed to break through and play for at least 30 minutes a day, but usually 1-2 hours. This was extremely effective for immersion. I LIVED in that world.  So I am going to allow myself to do the following:  Backlog and sandbox games on the weekend. pokemon, portal, donut county, halo, skyrim, mass effect, dream logic, cattails, VR with Orion Drift and Dungeons of Eternity, etc. Replaying vns is allowed also. I realize this means it will take forever to get through them  But pretty much every day I want to be in: Genshin Impact and BG3. Y...

But ONLY this one I finally GET it. That was really good. A few parts that threw me off plot-wise, but excellent characters and animation.

YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME  YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME  FUCK YOU ALL.  Third layoff. Every single full-time job I've had, I've lost.  I've never liked life very much and I often wonder why I was even born here. I don't feel like I've done much. I don't really enjoy it. I love what I do, sure, but the sadness is always there. I don't like the scaffolding.  And when something like this happens, it's very easy to spiral into those old, comforting thoughts that i've had ever since I was a teen. They came up countless times then. They came up again when Sling laid me off. And then again when DreamWorks laid me off. What's the point? What if I just gave up? Threw in the towel? Fuck this world, I've always hated it, I never asked to be born.  Under the arches of moonlight and sky, Suddenly easy to contemplate, why?  Why live a life That's painted with pity and sadness and strife?  Why dream a dream  That's tainted with trouble and less than it seems? ...

Do not over-rely on AI. bad choice, bad choice, BAD CHOICE. Case in point: They make stuff up :D :D :D 

Not to be dramatic, but: When I got laid off from DreamWorks, I thought that I had lost everything. I was just going to stay there forever, while building my own creative career on the side. When I was laid off, that plan was ruined. I lost momentum completely. I limped to the finish line of my CS master's. I did not publish any papers. My final project had an error in the physics equations. I got a new job that was not animation and despite my love for coding, I just could not get my heart into it and I wasn't sure why. For a long time, I went through the motions to pay the bills and that was it. I was not consistent at practicing art, 2D or 3D, and my skills were severely lagging behind. I was not able to move to California as planned. I was not submitting to writing group. In fact, the only thing I was really consistent at was exercise.  Finally I woke up. I had to build something non-negotiable via daily automatic practice blocks that were just as important and unskippable ...

CS animation was great, fantastic even, but it wasn't really art school. It was just CS with some tech art courses.  My self study is great but I'm gonna want something more eventually.  That's why I am going to do GabyT, All in for Artists and Marc Brunet's Art School even if people on Reddit say they're a waste of money. I could trust some random who has no art on their profile, or I could trust GabyT. Hmm, why is this actually extremely easy calculus? Self study program first though. Then, the formal stuff. 

What is the summer haze?  First off, if you hate summer you probably don't experience this. However, it is something that I personally notice. It's both beautiful and dangerous.  The heat is intense yet comforting, like a warm blanket. It sends you into a sort of torpor. I've always said I'm basically a lizard. I'm cold-blooded. I can still crank my way through a water park before the crowds get there, but the haze starts to set in after that first hour or so.  The air is filled with cotton, like snow in June or July. The world is green and blue, and the air smells of barbecue and cinnamon and chlorine and sunscreen. People are laughing and talking and splashing. This feeling is strongest at public parks, including the ones at Provo Canyon, water parks, and amusement parks. It is obviously amplified in seasonal places where half the year the air hurts your face.  My brain personally  can easily fall into this half-zoned out, dissociative state where I'm lost in ...

I've been watching RWBY Ice Queendom, and only have one episode left. Mild spoilers here I guess.  I've realized how much I enjoyed the Beacon arc, and how I wish it could've lasted longer.  IQ does get dark or at least intense. It's not a Bluey episode, and it shouldn't be, as much as I love Bluey. I've always related to Weiss the most out of the main 4, especially her song Mirror, Mirror. So the scene with Pyrrha singing it inside of Weiss' dream still haunts me. It was very well executed.  Even so, it then lightens up and gets funny again. Those moments of catharsis are really needed. We're back in Beacon ready to learn more about becoming huntsmen and huntresses, I think (we'll see for sure in the last episode once I watch it). And the music is good, much like the music in actual RWBY.  But as I start to separate my nightly coding block into two different ones, Code and Games/Webcomics, I'm starting to think about my own webcomic that I'm...

Did they let me add it?  No. My advisor sucked. "You have too many credits, sucks to be you." I am so excited for when I make it as an artist because I am going to roast her so badly for blocking me from what I wanted to do.  And then they took it away and instead there was this cringe business bro "Design Thinking" BS. Ew. No.  Visual Arts was too...messy. I'll be honest; I didn't want to take sculpture or ceramics. I wanted the actual hardcore design classes because I knew the professors in that department would push me more. Push us all more. Though my Art 101 class was really good, and I really liked my professor and classmates, I got the sense that being pushed was the exception more than the rule in that department. I just got lucky.  I already took Figure Drawing for Illustrators and both ARTHC World Civ classes for my Civ GE credits. So all I would've had to take was the seminar, drawing, composition, and one more history course. That's only...

 this. 

Okay so confession time: I said it was gateway tapes season and then I haven't done it. Yep. Because I finally came up with an art + writing + code + engineering + music + gaming schedule that works, and obviously I am not going to mess with gym or my runs.  I'm also not quite  sleeping enough, but working on that.  But, during my 15-minute break for meditation and such, I'm starting over to read The Phase by Michael Raduga again, usually while on a walk outdoors (if it's nice) or on my vibration plate (if it's not).  If I'm going to do the gateway tapes, Sunday morning is the only  time, and this can be complicated if I have an early choir rehearsal. I have to basically be in bed by 10, up by 6:30 or 7, and that gives me around 40 minutes for a tape before I have to start getting ready for church.  That means I have to get to bed by 10 instead of 11 though. And I keep getting to bed at 11. Which, in turn, means that all coding must be done before dinner, s...

Tired of having that label. 1. I am a theme park enthusiast. Imagine putting together a Disney adult with some NERD who can talk your ear off about stats while going up the lift hill of Steel Vengeance.  2. I am from 2010s DeviantArt. You know the type. Not the weird stuff that's prominent on there now. Instead, I just like creative pursuits: art/writing/music mixed with a technical edge: coding and cyber/IT. Just picture a digital artist who also writes novels, games, coded their own online portfolio, and maybe is in a symphonic band. There is nothing groundbreaking about this.  Lots of people do it.  3. I do hybrid athletics. Legitimately just working out. Everyone should be doing this.  Easy. 

Many people think I'm odd But I talk with no one and I walk alone  ... I try to smile a lot but I'm always fronting But I do love a ghost and at least that's something... I hate that you leave when the lights come on And if I had it my way, the fucking sun would be gone  - ICP

It's not the freaking covid vaccine. This is why I am disappointed in the lockdown skeptic community. I will always be against lockdowns. I will never be against vaccines.  It's also not "chemtrails". Seriously? People actually unironically believe that? 😂  This is like flat earthers. Legit thought they were all trolling until my aunt in Texas apparently became one. Excuse me? Blame gym culture.  Blame the MPMD crowd who calls people "small" and "victim weight" and says "abs on a skinny guy are like big boobs on a fat chick, they don't count" (gross, gross, gross, I hated that I even typed that). Blame the NOJ crowd who thinks that any halfway decent physique is impossible without injecting hormones into your caboose. Embarrassing.  Choo choo, mfers. 

If you are using an OFFLINE area, and you  1) update an attribute rule in Pro, and  2) restart your service, and 3) SYNC that offline area,  It will pick up the newly updated attribute rules live. You don't have to download a new area if you don't want to.  There. That's a thing you know now. 

I do have "just-right" OCD though, so this could be a symptom.  But I keep thinking about what I did in undergrad:  Major: CS Animation Minors: Math, Creative Writing What I wish I had done:  Major: CS Animation, but the modern version which has more actual art courses based on the catalog Second Major: Mechanical Engineering Minors: Math, Creative Writing, Cybersecurity Would've minored in Design too if BYU hadn't nuked it out of orbit and if my advisor had actually been nice and reasonable to those of us who actually want to work hard OR also minored in physics if I couldn't double I'm not sure why I spin on this when undergrad is DONE. I am now mentally in my OWN school, doing it right this time. My own curriculum is BUILT and in-progress. So, it shouldn't bother me, and yet, it does.  What I also wish I had done:  Taken that Universal Creative internship  The regret for that  was almost erased by DreamWorks because TDs technically could be assigned...

Exactly how I feel on the matter. Brandon and Monika Zagrobelna are the two artists who capture my view on it perfectly. This one is a very encouraging video and I'd 100% recommend watching if you're worried about genAI.  I like using genAI as a chatbot and assistant, like a pair programmer, and that's it. I will never have it generate art or writing for me. Code, only as an assistant or if I'm at work. This video explains why. 

IDK, I didn't go for a few years, but for some reason I am feeling the pull to go again. I can't really explain why, but I think I'll resume going annually.  Pasted my loose schedule, which may or may not actually work. I suspect that the freebies table will be mostly empty (if it's even still a thing) by the time I get there after my long run.  I am planning to get my badge at around 10 or 10:30 AM.  I am gonna get lunch or even drive home to practice music from 12-1 I am going to be Super Social TM and by Super Social, I mean I am going to be buried in my laptop and iPad the entire time because I have the social skills of a dead jellyfish on the beach.  I remember being SO CONFUSED when I went my first year to "game development" and "writing for games" panels and there was not a single video game in sight. All board games and TTRPG. Big "wait, what?" moment. Welp, I'm not going to any of those most likely. See below: 2026 February Sat...

So tired of tech nerds being defined in 2026 as like...LinkedIn bros obsessed with company status, prestige, interviews, and overworking to prove themselves. I call this norovirus of the soul, because it makes me want to puke my guts out and have excruciatingly painful explosive diarrhea at the same time.  Tech bros used to be either bespectacled math nerds or gamer-weeb hybrids talking about compiler optimizations and dependency injection.  There's obviously still the latter, but the former crowd are annoyingly loud. LinkedIn, r/csMajors, r/cscareerquestions, pretty much all of those need to be avoided like the plague. I need to keep drilling until I find actually serious discussion and increase my own skills until I can hang with that crowd. I'm even getting kinda grossed out by my own GitHub bio because it feels somewhat performative, but then again, it's not like I am like "achieved all 12 OKRs this quarter and increased throughput by 87% - " 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮  ...

21 hours awake. 1 waiting for rope drop. 16 in the parks. 1 after close. No naps, no breaks. Straight up.  5 am wakeup and core. 5:30 am run. 6:30 breakfast. 6:40 off to the park. 7 security. 8, rope drop Space. Park Hopper with LL, at DLR and DCA. 24 rides (1 repeat, so really 25) and 1 parade completed on a Saturday. 7 snacks/meals. 3 souvenirs.  I normally cannot do this. But at Disney, I can. And I love it.  Immersed in a world of magic, stories, and romance. I never want it to end. My cousin bailed at 8-9 pm or so. I kept on trucking until the bitter end.  I'll get 5 hours max sleep tonight. Sucks, but that's why they invented white monsters. And yes, SX basically took SP in a chokehold, dunked it underwater and held it there, and said not today, Satan.  LROTN was a front row ride on Space. My feet hurt, I'm beyond exhausted, and I'm utterly at peace with the world. Not for long. But for right now.  Wake up, dead boy.  Enter Adventureland.  -...

No else-if statements Find call is ordered backwards (legit wasted half the day on debugging when I was just accidentally reversing Find calls)  FeatureSetByName  forces you to hardcode strings , yet it doesn't even fail until you try to actually call the rule . Like it passes evaluation.  This language is a bastardization of computer science. Maybe I'm breaking my rule of "I love all things code", but again, I still enjoy the work I do in Arcade. I just think the language itself was poorly designed. 

ok, back to work 

Here's a cultural thing I have been thinking about.  I love roller coasters. I also love Disney. But, they appear to be two totally separate communities. Here's why I notice this:  Disney adults (for lack of a better term) enjoy theming, immersive experiences, hardcore brand loyalty, food. They will do things like runDisney even if they are not runners, because they have to do everything that is Disney. Many are also animated film lovers. There is a subset that will also go to Universal or maybe Dollywood. Some may describe it as "cheating on Disney". Talk about Cedar Point and watch their eyes glaze over. If they show up at Six Flags at all (unlikely), they will be too scared to do most of the rides.  Roller coaster enthusiasts will count credits, travel across the country or even the world, understand science and physics and engineering (in some cases, like the IAAPA crowd) or just be there primarily for the social aspect but still be quite well-read about parks and...

Turns out, keeping a theme park blog up to date with trip reports is actually pretty exhausting. I can do it, but I have to do the reports RIGHT AWAY, not piecewise. I haven't been, so I'm almost a year behind -- and probably will just fast forward to modern days.  But there's so much more to do with it. I want to write park guides. I want to discuss engineering, science, history, art. 

I have realized something:  sometimes computer graphics gets skipped when low on time  sometimes game dev does too this is no longer going to happen. today I at least opened up the pages in addition to this, sometimes internet gets skipped and I don't play around with music production  enough, but the latter is fine to wait a little bit longer as I solidify my practice habits I'm doing Disney and Knott's starting tomorrow anyway so...gonna be thrown off 

cozy cone mac and cheese  adorable snowman  dole whip  chicken tendies, be they crispy or from wendy's mickey pretzel (so you can be the childless tramp who takes the last one)  gotta get some pizza or maybe a hot dog  spicy mac: firetown mac and cheese bites at troubadour tavern churro, of course jack jack cookies  I've also heard that there are some good valentine's day exclusives and some good snacks in the star wars area Hmm also I need to figure out if I'm doing LTUE...

Usually they're like super old timey and grainy for some reason? Yeah not mine 

well, cyber + job apps. They aren't working when I do them during work breaks. all it does is fry my brain. I don't know what to do yet, but I will figure it out. Almost every second of my day is optimized, so I will have to get extremely, extremely creative. But if I can resolve this, I will be able to do the full, restorative breaks that Steve Pavlina talks about. DRAFT: Any overlaps you see in time will be multitasks.  4:15 AM - 4:55 AM Engineering 4:45 AM - 6:00 AM Lift  6:00 AM - 7:15 AM Run 7:15 AM - 8 AM Prep for Work 10:45 AM Duolingo and YNAB Break 8 AM - 12 PM Work 12 PM - 1 PM Lunch + 40 Minutes Music (produce or study theory as you do long tones) 1 PM - 4 PM Work 4 PM - 5:15 PM Art 5:15 PM - 5:45 PM Dinner with pokemon, vibration plate, remote job app 5:45 PM - 6:05 PM Cleaning and Reading 6:05 PM - 6:45 PM Writing 6:45 PM - 7 PM Meditation/Break 7 PM - 8:15 PM Code Block, loosely: 7 PM - 7:15 PM Cybersecurity 7:15 PM - 7:35 PM Computer Science Core 7:35 PM - 8:00 ...