on still fighting with your parents as an adult...

It took me 32 years to realize that I am never going to be the child my parents wanted. And about that same amount of time to realize that I don't care anymore. 

"I'm never gonna be good enough for you.
I can't stand another fight."

I thought my mom was done screaming at us, but she's doing again, just over FaceTime. The feeling like a dark bat is looming over you, gigantic, its wings spread, and you are very very small. She hadn't done it in many years, but it was both Christmas and yesterday. And then my dad makes fun of me for riding roller coasters solo and getting family coaster credits even though I've repeatedly explained to him how enthusiast culture works, and how if I waited for other people I'd hardly ever go to parks. 

I can't do it anymore. So, I'm not going to move close by like I wanted to. I'll move closer so it's not a 12-hour haul, but not within an hour like my original goal. I think this is the final straw. Because I can't stand another fight. 

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