Artists who primarily make sad music, but then they can't sustain that

An interesting phenomenon I've noticed: 

I love sad music and sad artists. I don't solely listen to it, but it's most of what I listen to. I don't really relate to happy music. 

Owl City was the first artist I ever loved, starting in my junior year of high school. Fireflies captured perfectly the fear I felt about leaving home, and how I wished that my childhood would never end. It taught me that I could take my childhood with me, and that while I would have to leave home, I'd never have to truly grow up. It gave me the courage I needed to leave home for college. I also fell in love with other songs, such as Vanilla Twilight -- wishing someone that you love was with you, but they aren't -- The Real World -- wishing that you could live in a magical fantasy world instead of reality -- and On the Wing, which is about daydreaming about a love that is just a perfect fantasy, nothing real. On the Wing will always be my favorite song. There were some legit happy songs, too, like The Bird and the Worm, but it still was infused with melancholy, like wow I wish I could find a love like that. 

Lots of people think that Owl City's early music is happy just because it sounds happy, but it isn't. Adam himself even said "I like sad songs disguised as happy songs" and I believe he also said "I like sad songs better than happy songs". 

I started to branch out more with my music in college. I started listening to Evanescence, Nightwish, Emilie Autumn, Woods of Ypres, Blue October, Anna Blue, Sky Sailing, The Birthday Massacre, Korn, Insane Clown Posse, Twiztid, Eminem, Linkin Park, Avatar, Before the Dawn, Slipknot, A Pale Horse Named Death, Cradle of Filth, Swallow the Sun, etc. 

Some of these bands definitely are still sad and somber, but many of them no longer are. As they grow up, they find the love that they were dreaming of, and their drive to create beautiful sad things is lessened. Owl City's songs are less about whirlwind romances and beautiful, whimsical, melancholic daydreams, and have migrated more towards Christian worship music. I do like that genre, but I really miss the more subtle references to God and Jesus in songs like "Angels" or "Kamikaze". Owl City taught me that I didn't have to be happy, or satisfied and content with this world, to still believe in God. I didn't have to embrace the toxic positivity that people kept trying to shove down my throat. I can't be happy, I don't know how to be, but I can be hopeful. I do know how to do that. 

Evanescence's music is still trying to be sad, but the heart isn't quite there. After all, Amy finally found the love that she was looking for. Blue October and Nightwish have definitely taken a more positive turn -- note that Justin and Tuomas are both married now too, and they're not sad anymore. What's there for Nightwish to wish for, now that the wish has been fulfilled? 

Like Evan Bailyn who once had a blog called "Never Grow Up" with a nice little community which he has since changed to "The Early Writings of Evan Bailyn" showing that he has, in fact, grown up. He did exactly what he said he wouldn't do. 

A YouTube comment on "My Heart is Broken" by Evanescence says something like "The last beautiful, heartfelt song that Amy ever wrote. Goodbye my tortured angel." 

It's interesting. It is a GOOD thing that these artists have found happiness, and that their songs no longer reflect the deep sadness and anger that they used to have. I remember reading an interview with Violent J where he said he simply wasn't as angry as he used to be in his early 20s. He's married now too, huh, I notice a pattern here. I'm still angry, myself. But it's a good thing not to be. 

But at the same time, it's hard to not feel left behind. My favorite artists finally found their love and happiness, it reflects in their music now and that's great, but I never did. I'm still here. Still sad. I was sad in 2004, I was sad in 2010, and I'm sad now in 2022. And I need music from artists that understand me. I think Blue October handles it the best, basically encouraging listeners in their new songs that they can have that happiness one day, too. Unless I find that happiness, though, I'll be always searching for more of the dark and sad stuff.