Months ranked again

Disclaimer, yes I know that this blog has some autumnal things, including the banner. I love the aesthetic and spookiness of it, but I still prefer summertime when it comes to actually existing.

I'm redoing it because this spring was nasty! This is just a brain-dump so nothing professional-sounding; I'll do that some other time. Once I'm back in California though it won't really matter. 

I live in Utah near SLC for school. I will be moving back home to Southern California next year and you will see why based on my rankings:


12. February. Gross, cold, muddy, wet, brown snow everywhere, slipping on the ice, and a reminder on the 14th that you will die alone. I am going to burn this entire universe to the ground. 


11. January. Gross, cold, muddy, wet, depressing, snowy, icy, but at least you don't have to do anything for the first week. No birdsong, just despair. Would be a shame if I slipped on the ice and broke my arm, and this is a fear I have every time I want to go for a walk. I don't want to learn how to shower with a cast on. I get sick most Januarys without fail. 



10. November. Gross, foggy, freezing, depressing, everything fun is closed for the year after the first week, and all the pretty fall colors have turned into an ugly brown. It feels like one giant funeral and the flu is going around. No roller coasters, no outdoor water slides, no carnivals. At least there's Thanksgiving. I will eat myself into a coma to escape the misery of existence. Find me in a rec center pool, waiting in line for the tiny little water slide behind a bunch of six year olds, staring blankly at the wall. 



9. March. Gross, muddy, sleet, it's still cold, WHY is it still cold, spring is a lie, I hate everything and everyone, I am going to burn this world to the ground with everyone on it. But at least I can ride some roller coasters. 






8. April. IT'S SPRING WHY IS IT STILL COLD?!?!!!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP BEING COLD AND STOP SNOWING. Oh look, a bunny, and a grand total of 3 (three) flowers. My eyes itch and I can't breathe. At least there are roller coasters :)




7. December. I love Christmas, but it's dark and cold and snowy and slippery. But then again...CHRISTMAS!!! It means I get to go back to California lol. 




6. September. Eww. School is back in session and there's tons of traffic and I have homework and now I get caught behind school buses. On the bright side, I can still go on outdoor water slides and roller coasters. There are usually some fun carnivals. Plus, fall festivals open up and I can go through some awesome corn mazes! And the leaves are fun to watch as they start to change. It's both beautiful and sad. 




5. October. No outdoor water slides or pools and the fountains are shut off (😞), but more fall festivals, spooky stuff and vibes, more corn mazes, hiking, roller coasters, lovely walks to see the foliage, and Reese's pumpkins! Yay! Wait crap why is it snowing already? It's fall, not winter!!! NO DAMN IT WHY, STOP SNOWING AARGH and whoops, there go all the leaves! They're all brown and wilted now. Thanks, snow! 






4. August! The first truly good month in my list. Hiking, water slides, roller coasters, carnivals, running through sprinklers, waterfalls, kayaking, nobody is at the park because it's very hot (so I get it all to myself), reading on my hammock, sleeping with two fans blaring, picnics, delicious ice water, never having to worry about what to wear (always shorts and a t-shirt), lounging in the sun, going to the zoo, getting ice cream and smoothies, showering twice a day, fountains, mini golf, swimming! Oh yeah! Let's just ignore the mild sense of impending doom when we randomly remember that it's going to start snowing in 2 months!!! Also, school has probably started already, yuck. And afternoon thunderstorms make water parks close early, which sucks. Plus once kids are in school, everything starts being closed during the week. 





3. May. The entire summer is ahead of you, and it's going to be awesome. Unfortunately, it keeps raining. If Memorial Day Weekend is nice, it'll be one of the best weekends of the year, because water parks open for the season! The flowers are beautiful and the allergies have gone down somewhat. Also FLUFFY DUCKLINGS!!! If it snows, I will kill everyone within a 50-mile radius and then myself. 




2. July. See August minus the sense of impending doom. Basically one giant party. But ew, thunderstorms, gross. 




1. June. Perfect weather. All the fun activities I mentioned in August. Clear blue skies, swimming, sunshine, peace, water, LIFE. All the summer months are ahead of you! Everything is vibrant and green. Usually no thunderstorms. Bliss, butterflies, birdsong, and dragonflies all around. Listening to music in the car with a lovely breeze blowing and the sun setting at 9:30 pm. Love it, love every second of it, except for 2022 when it was still cold until the second week for some stupid reason. Did I mention that I hate the cold? :D




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unleashing my inner Disney Princess ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ at the 2024 Disney Princesses Half Marathon

Image
TL;DR it was amazing and perfect  and we are going to make this an annual tradition. I may edit this with photos later, but I'm probably going to forget.  Recently, I spent 5 wonderful days donating my dollarbucks and soul to the evil mouse in Orlando. I did it for the Disney Princess Half Marathon.  Just look at that happy little alligator musician. He's so CHONKY. It's adorable. I love him. How could you NOT run a half marathon for him when he's cheering you on?  (My dad says it's weird to say the word "adorable" as a man, which makes zero logical sense and obviously means I need to use that word as often as possible. I will also continue to wear my rings and maybe I'll start flashing my pink protein shaker. Just to cause a little discomfort, because it's funny.)  I haven't seen the movie yet actually so idk if the gator is a major character or not. But JUST LOOK AT HIM.  My cousin and I had been planning a Disney trip, specifically centered
Read more

The 20-something types of Computer Science majors

Image
I've been way too distracted with this blog lately, and I need to hurry up and start getting crap done. But...I've been dying to write this lol.  The advanced neckbeard A rare variety. When a neckbeard is forced out of his mom's basement and into college, he becomes an Advanced Neckbeard. You can always tell when he's coming, because you can smell him from half a mile away. He is very overweight, and wears shirts that are either plain or adorned with anime/gaming graphics. These shirts are either stained with sweat, Hot Cheetos, or something a little bit more, ah, suspicious . He is so socially unskilled that he makes everyone else in the major look normal. Age 30+, GPA at a 2.0 or just barely above it. Will never drop the major despite his lack of effort, because he simply doesn't care if he gets bad grades. In fact, he is probably highly intelligent, but his grades will never reflect that. Nevertheless, he will get a much higher paying job than a regular neckbeard
Read more

The Evenstar

I've never liked this world much.  Ever since I was a little kid, I always dreamed of going somewhere else. I created this alternate version of Earth that had everything and everyone that I loved, but with all these improvements to it. Magic was real. So were dragons. Dinosaurs hadn't gone extinct. Technology allowed people to fly. A network of glass corridors provided transport between this world and mine, snaking through streams of stars, galaxies, and lightyears of blackness.  And more than anything, I wasn't alone. I don't remember why I spent so much time alone as a kid. I really wish I did. All I know is that when I was in my  world, I always had someone by my side.  The feeling of being out of place here was overwhelming. It still is. That sense of not belonging, of longing for somewhere else, it has never gone away.  When I was in middle school, being bullied daily, I escaped to that world. The boys who tripped me and spit on me disappeared, replaced by tropical
Read more