I'll paint you a clear blue sky...



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Dream jobs list

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In addition to Research Engineering, this: Is exactly what I want to do, if I don't decide to bridge next into cybersecurity or embedded. I would just work here and never leave until my writing took off. Or even just not leave even when it does.  Fully remote and at the intersection of tech, math, code, physics, and art. Also, I use Adobe's software on a daily basis.  If by a miracle I got an interview, well -- I'd be studying out the wazoo for it. 
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Introspection time

I've delved back into personality theory fake-science and finally figured out my whole enneagram trifix. I may or may not have involved Claude AI in this discussion because the internet wasn't helping. Yep. I knew my core type as 4w5 instantly. But the rest? It took me years. I initially tested with a 7w6 -head fix (yep...LOL), and thought for years that maybe it was accurate because 1) I can be silly?  2) I have a LOT of pursuits compared to the average person 3) I am vaguely introverted-7ish at amusement parks if I am with an energetic group. I get along decently well with 7s overall.  4) I have generalized anxiety disorder (w6...????) But no. That's SUPER counterintuitive for me. It was obvious all along. A 5-head fix can still have an anxiety disorder, and a 5-head fix can still be somewhat polymathic, especially in the 541 tritype. I am constantly screaming MASTERY. This is competency.  My love for theme parks and roller coasters is from the SX seeking intensity. The...
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4w5 and 5w4: science and art

So enneagram theory IS pseudoscience, and has an uncomfortably large overlap with people who think that astrology is actually legitimate. However, reading the 4w5 descriptions as a high school senior / college freshman lent itself to such painful accuracy for me that I realized that there was probably much more to this theory than what was on the surface. As Owl City says, "life is quite surreal", and I wouldn't believe in God or soulmates or life on other planets if I took everything at face value. So, I study enneagram theory anyway, woo and all. Honestly, if it helps you (and it will), who cares.  So, 4w5 and 5w4.  People act like these two types are totally different, and as such, conducting a Google search on their differences gives you overtly simplistic explanations (4w5s are more EMOTIONAL and 5w4s are more INTELLECTUAL, no freaking shiz, Sherlock), or random crap like "if you identify with both, you're probably a 6 or a 9", which makes absolutely no...
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